thefro3po

January 1, 2012

2012-01-01T05:59:00.002-05:00

Happy New Year!!!

Today begins the first day of the year.
I'm alive to see it.

So far, so good.

No Blog in Three Months

2011-11-06T22:26:00.004-05:00

"Three months off feels good."

*Stretches arms, cracks fingers*

"Time to get back into the swing of things."

*Looks around*

"I'm going to bed."

It has been an interesting last couple of months, I've let myself do all sorts of things I told myself I wasn't going to do... Planned on doing all sorts of awesome amazing things with my time, but found myself not doing those things. Which kinda sucks cause I spent a lot of time putting together a Long, Mid, Short Term goals lists and then first opportunity I get to not do them or more importantly to move my life in a completely opposite direction, I do it.

I haven't been completely slacking off though. I have been doing some of the things on my goal lists. For example, I have been working out regularly (abs are slightly shaped and not just a large round egg/oval shape under my shirt lol), I've made and followed a monthly budget (most of the time), I've drawn a little bit, and I started researching a some of my pet projects.

So, not a complete waste of three months, but I definitely could have been further along. Guess that's what happens when I'm the only one to hold myself accountable. *facepalm* That's what I get for not doing something else I was suppose to be doing.

*sigh*

But on the brighter side of things, I wrote in my blog today, I've made a general outline for my financial comeback, and life feels a little more manageable today.

So, thank you God for giving me the strength to carry foreword.

Also, thanks to my family for being so freaking AWESOME!!! Even though most of the time, my selfish ass doesn't deserve it. Thanks!!!

NOW, I'm going to sleep.

Setting Goals, Making a Plan, and Staying Motivated

2011-08-04T11:47:00.007-04:00

Let's face it, we all have dreams, goals, and aspirations. We ponder and imagine ourselves, living out or fantasies, no matter how intricate and detailed. We can see ourselves there and we are content. The problem with that is once we finish thinking about it, we are instantly transported back to reality and then we realize the large gaping distance between us and those fantasies.

Sometimes after imagining what your goals are we feel energized and ready to take on the world, no one is going to get in our way of accomplishing what we've set out to do. After time, we tend to see that level of enthusiasm wear off and we're left imagining what could have been or even worse depressed that we failed at attaining what it was we wanted.

Setting Goals

Think about your last New Years Resolution, "I'm going to lose so many pounds or I'm going to eat healthy..." Sound familiar? It happens to everyone, but after some time we lose sight of our goals, because we don't have a clear plan and we lost that initial motivation.

When we first imagined ourselves 30 pounds lighter, we could "see" how great we looked, we could "feel" how great it was. That's your motivation right there, how you'll feel about yourself once you've accomplished what you've set out to do. But that vision of the future isn't going to be enough to get you there, if it was, you'd be 30 pounds lighter already and you wouldn't be reading this.

Making a plan

The problem is we often set out on these long complicated journeys but we do it without a plan. If you where traveling to another state or country would you do it without a plan. Would you drive to Canada (where you've never been before) without a map. Just aimlessly fumble your way through another country.

Pursuing your goals/dreams is much like taking a long trip into unfamiliar lands. You have a starting point an ending point and pit stops along the way that will act as checkpoints to ensure your going the right way, show your progress, and to give yourself much needed breaks. Remember Rome wasn't built in one day, and you can't accomplish your dreams of becoming rich and famous in one day either. These things take time.

Make a list of the things you're going to need to accomplish you goals, just some simple/general steps. Then on another piece of paper elaborate on those steps go into in-depth detail, you'll get a good idea of just what it's going to take to get where you want and more importantly how much work it's going to take. Now break those steps up into time allotments, setting clear goals of how far along you want be and when you want be there. This will act as a reference for later, when you're sitting idle and not sure what to do next, you won't have to worry, you have a plan.

Staying Motivated

Okay, so you've set your goals, you've made a plan, but you're starting to lose focus. Don't worry it can be hard to change yourself, give yourself a break, sometimes you will stumble, don't get down on yourself. There are things you can do to help keep yourself motivated, limit your slip-ups and keep yourself on track.

-First way to stay motivated = write it down.

"The act of writing is the act of discovering what you believe."
— David Hare

Write down what you want to accomplish, your goals, dreams, ambitions, etc. Write it all down in a place you frequent and have easy access to. Then read what you write down, read it all the time, everyday, multiple times a day, for extended periods of time. These are your goals, these are you dreams, you should be familiar with them.

-Second way to stay motivated = Hold yourself accountable

If you're accountable for what you want to do, what you want to accomplish, then you know you have to do them or there will be consequences. One of the best ways is to have someone close that you trust be your accountability partner. You can talk yourself out of doing things, but you shouldn't be able to talk someone else out of holding yourself accountable for what you said you would do. And if you find yourself talking that person out of holding you accountable, then you should find a new partner. Spouses, family members, or good friends are great for this role.

-Third way to stay motivated = love your goals

You should be in love with your goals. If your goal is to be a website designer, you should be doing everything in your power to be the best website designer, in fact you should be acting like you're already a website designer. Your time should be consumed with looking at other high caliber websites, learning and reading building websites and about website design, you should be making websites of your own, and talking with other people who are interested about making websites, etc.

I'm a huge fan of the video game Halo. I enjoy playing it, I enjoy watching people play it. I know the best places to be on certain maps, the times weapons spawn, where the other team is going to spawn, what professional players are the best at playing halo, trick jumps that aren't common knowledge, the list could go on.

This is how you should be about your goals. If your passionate about your goals they'll be a way of life for you, you live your dreams you don't just plan them. Remember you're already a website designer, you just have to get other people to realize it. :)

Saving the World

2011-08-03T14:44:00.002-04:00

Saving the World has become one of my top priorities... I also need to save myself, and others. I hope to blend them into one long mission... Three birds, one stone. Yes!!! :)

I'm Sleepy

2011-08-01T04:16:00.001-04:00

I'm going to try going back to sleep. :)

Decisions and the Moments After Them

2011-07-30T12:36:00.002-04:00

Hindsight is the best teacher. When hindsight comes, it is only after some thing has been done, after a decision has been made, then hindsight comes to aid in your reflection of said decision. Hindsight is neither positive or negative, hindsight is "you" reflecting on informative.

Human Beings decide, choose, and label things positive and negative. Such definitions help in making future decisions. If one has labeled something as Pos/Neg then when approached by something similar in the future, one has a clearer understanding of it and how to handle it.
Humans come to those conclusions with the use of reflection, which is the friend and close companion of hindsight (the ability to see backward).

Although, I believe that positive and negative labels are used all too frequently, without restraint, and far too many biased. I do understand and acknowledge their uses. So, it is with their usefulness in mind, that I will label two directions "Life" (the living force that enables all things to exist) can take positive or negative. But first, I think we need to understand how it is we come to the conclusion of what is pos/neg.

Imagine everything you've come to understand, believe, and know stored in a hard drive (a really big hard drive). This hard drive is connected to a computer, this computer has the speed and capability to analyze all the information you've provided it (on the hard drive) within less than a second. It can then use that info it analyzed to decide whether you'd like or dislike something (whether you've responded positively or negatively to that stimuli in the past and thus should respond positively or negatively now).
Now imagine that this computer is you. KA-BOOM, POW!!! Now we have a better understanding (very basic but for our situation it works fine) of how we come to these conclusions of what should be labeled as pos/neg.

Now let's talk about decisions and how they might be affecting your future endeavors. One could probably argue that there are varying degrees of decisions. Ranging from the small to the large scale decisions we make on a daily basis. From what to eat for breakfast, to whether you should offer your controversial opinion at a business meeting.

Decisions can also affect a person in many different ways as well, physically, emotionally, mentally, financially... The list could go on. The point is that all those ways your decisions can affect you are very important to your life.
Your decisions can also affect others too, and in contrast others decisions can have an affect on you. With the varying range of people (with varying backgrounds, experiences, understanding, knowledge, beliefs and perceptions) you can see how the decisions of a world full of different individuals can result in a ginormous web of cause/effect/affect, which can have interesting and at times scary results*/**.

So, if decisions affect oneself and others, one has to have a way to label effect of such decisions. Hence the the topic of pos/neg. Now if one makes a decision that oneself has labeled positive, it propels that individual into the future (whatever happens next, after the decision) a future I'd label as positive, because when given a chance to choose between pos/neg (your own definition of pos/neg) you the individual chose positive.

Over time, if you continue to make choices/decisions that were similar in nature to the hypothetical one we just mentioned, it would serve to reinforce that positive label attached to it and it would become easier and easier to make that decision in the future.

I'd like to take a moment to define what I believe to be easy and difficulty. Something easy is something you are familiar with and something difficult is something you are not familiar with.

So, with that in mind, if you consistently make a decision that you've labeled as positive (say for example; cooking dinner instead of eating fast food), it will become easier to make that decision in the future. You will be more familiar with that choice, and the consistent choosing of this option in the place of the other will help to reinforce its positivity within you.

In direct contrast, if one chooses in a manner that directly conflicts with the pos/neg labels in oneself, it can have similar affects. For example, if you decide to eat out instead of cooking dinner, the next time you have to make that decision, it'll be easier to make that negative decision than it would have in the previous encounter with it. (lets just assume the sake of this example that this was the first time the individual had encountered the decision to eat out or cook dinner. So, first they chose positive now negative, essentially making it even ground). They are more familiar with it.

Now say the decision comes up again, and again they choose to eat out. And again, and again. After time (not sure how much) it will become easier to choose to eat out, than it would to cook dinner.

Also, given an amount of time, to consistently choose eating out instead of cooking dinner, the negative label on such an activity would soon loosen it's hold and over a substantial amount of time even diminish. Then the possibility that an positive label could be placed on the same thing that was once a negative label now exists.

With that in mind, one can see how one could find reason, to how another person could in fact do horrible things to other people. Killing, rape, torture, etc. This fact does not negate the degree of negativity attached to such behaviors to others, but to the individual committing them it does. They are in fact still negative actions, it is the person involved that has changed the way he/she sees the action performed.

But just as one has learned to be a certain way, can one not unlearn it? If an individual has learned to act negatively instead of positive, can he not learn to act positively?

You can teach an old dog new tricks.

With all that being said, I'd like to come full circle and connect all these pieces with the original thought that I began writing this with.

Hindsight is the ability to see the decisions of the past.

Positive and Negative (or good and bad) are labels we learn to attach to things through our experience/life/knowledge, etc

Decisions affect oneself and others and can be considered as both positive and negative

Consistent decisions reinforce, consistent behavior (positive or negative) and form habits (ie consistent behavior)

Which brings me to my point, it is the utmost importance that our young ones are receive the proper set of labels (morals, values, habits, etc) when they are growing up. If this is not the case, they will receive them from somewhere else and you can be the judge as to the Positive of Negative label to attach to that scenario.

*Side Note*
Good thing we have this beautiful thing called communication (although under utilized). I would say that as a medium to convey, thought and emotion/feeling it is extremely lacking. I've spent an hour typing (with some breaks to text, Google words I couldn't spell, and look on Wikipedia) in an effort to convey a thought that crossed my mind. Granted it's something I've mulled over before and holds great interest for me...
Regardless, communication methods need improvement, although I've come to an understanding that video has the best means to express information yet. As it can stimulate practically all of the sensory receptors of the audience.

**Side Note 2**
It was a thought that dreams are the language the mind uses to better understand and communicate with the "self." That thought needs more deliberation and contemplation, but I wanted to throw it out there.

Happy Birthday To Me!!!

2011-07-21T22:07:00.004-04:00

So, on my twenty-seventh year on this planet Earth, I'd like to formally declare my utter disappointment with my earth dwellers. I have yet to be impressed with the majority of time spent here (aside from a few moments of pure awesomeness).

I'd like to be hopeful for the future of my stay here, but I'm afraid my emo-tendencies won't have such hopes swimming around in my head.

So, instead of expecting it, I'll just fucking do it myself.

Love you guys.
Happy Birthday,
Jesse VanWagner

Sometimes I Draw Things :)

2011-07-09T01:14:00.000-04:00

Balance Through Consistency

2011-07-06T23:53:00.003-04:00

I find it's best to try to stay consistent, especially in the face of adversity. Consistency provides the basis in which good habits are formed. Good habits are the key to balancing our human tendencies.

Remain consistent, form good habits, become balanced.

Sounds good to me. :)

Puzzle Pieces

2011-07-04T00:31:00.001-04:00

Now that I've managed to take myself apart, I think it's time to put myself back together again... Interesting to see what the picture turns out to be. :)

I'm lost at sea, in a ship called me.

2011-07-02T18:43:00.003-04:00

I'm lost at sea, in a ship called me.

I'm finding things out about myself that is giving me hope. Finding courage in the fact that I haven't a clue about the world I live in. Not knowing is keeping me going. I'm lost at sea, in a chip called "me."

I find myself observing the world again, trying to figure out it's language. It reveals things about myself, offers insight. There is a "Force" behind things, moving them.

I'm lost at sea, in a ship called me and I can't wait to see where next, I'll be.

Happy Father's Day

2011-06-19T20:51:00.002-04:00

Happy Father's Day to all you fathers out there.

You have a very difficult job, I hope all are doing your best to represent men everywhere well and in a respectable fashion. This new generation could use some positive role models (TV doesn't even offer us any good ones anymore).

No pressure.
:)

Blogging

2011-06-17T13:31:00.003-04:00

Been trying to blog on a daily basis, but it can be difficult to keep a daily schedule. Of course like most things in your life it's not "finding" time for things as much as it is "making" time for them.

Actually setting aside time to do certain things you want to do and then following through. Seems simple enough, but for some reason or another it is as complicated as rocket science.

Yoda's words come to mind “Do or do not... there is no try.”

On another note, I was surfing through YouTube and ran across some celebrity YouTube pages. Curious as to what Rosario Dawson had on her YouTube page I found this interesting video (The Story of Stuff) about the "things" we humans produce and consume and the cycle that follows afterward.

Pretty interesting if you're interested in environmental or economical issues currently going on in our society.

Heroes

2011-06-15T17:31:00.003-04:00

Six years ago (give or take) I hung up my cape... Today, I'm putting it back on.

People are Okay

2011-06-13T08:56:00.002-04:00

Okay, so I guess that hanging around people isn't all that bad, it just depends who the people are. Had a few of my old friends from Ramstein over for the weekend, hanging out, playing games and watching TV. Good times.

So, I might reconsider some of my preconceived notions about people in general. It was a nice change to chill with some cool people, instead of just myself.

On a sad note, my brothers cat (who I was watching while he was away for work) left and has not come back. I let him out at night for him to use the bathroom and he has not returned. It's been a couple of days... I checked the pound, they said to check back every three days or so.

I feel bad. He was my responsibility, even though I didn't act irresponsibly or anything, the responsibility was mine. I don't know why he hasn't come back but I hope he is alright. :(

LOL

2011-06-03T13:32:00.001-04:00

I just got a email from xbox live, asking me to download and try out the Halo Reach Demo.

lol

With a Great Deal of Help...

2011-06-02T02:28:00.002-04:00

With a great deal of help, one day I'll make it.

Knowing my strengths is only part of the battle, I know that I can't reach my goals by myself. So, that means tackling my weakness... Asking for help, searching out people who both share my passions and have similar goals.

I think in time things will work out, but only if I'm constantly moving forward. Setting goals and maintaining my checklists is only a part of the process, I also have to follow through.

I must keep my drive, unrelenting focus.

But very few things are accomplished without the assistance of others.

With a great deal of help, one day I'll make my dreams into reality... Just wait and see.

Wiping off the dust...

2011-06-01T11:54:00.005-04:00

Hello forgotten space,

Although, we were once tight, it seems we've grown apart. Let's be friends again.

I was in Lowes yesterday and I was walking around looking at all the pieces of wood, doors, windows and all sorts of tools. I just couldn't contain my creativity. I wanted to buy all sorts of things and build something. I wanted to create.

Not because I could show it off to someone and they could tell me how great or awesome I was. But because I like creating things... I think somewhere along my journey through life I forgot that. Forgot why I became an artist, why I love drawing, why I love creating. It's just freaking COOL!!!

So, I'm going to keep that in mind.

Don't worry, I'll be back.

Compositing Project

2009-06-05T18:56:00.003-04:00

My first project for my Fundamentals of Compositing class. So far we've been learning all sorts of Photoshop madness, it's amazing all the things you can do with just one program.

Photoshop Goodness

2009-05-22T03:59:00.003-04:00

3D Character Creation

2009-05-13T16:06:00.006-04:00

Working on a female character for my Character Design and Creation class, so I thought I'd show some in process, step by step stuff so everyone could follow along with the progress.

Started out with a simple BlockOut, then moved on to Rounding the character out, and then next started working on the hands. I still need to do some finishing touches on the hand, but for the most part it's just tweaking.

Next I'll be working on the torso, then arms and legs.
Stop back through every now and then for more updates.

Additional Studies/Sketches

2009-05-04T16:36:00.007-04:00

2D Animation

2009-04-25T01:05:00.003-04:00

Here's one of the 2D animations I've done in class this month. I have a couple more real simple ones, but I need to copy them from the school's computer.

Progress

2009-04-19T06:39:00.007-04:00

W.I.P.s

2009-04-17T07:37:00.010-04:00

A couple of sketches/studies and some Work In Progress.

More Photoshop Action

2009-03-08T14:02:00.005-04:00

Did some more work with photoshop, this one took me about a day and a half of on and off work to finish. Turned out pretty well, learned a bunch of things, and many more I need to improve on. Enjoy.

Photoshop to the Rescue

2009-03-06T13:44:00.006-05:00

Here's some work I did in photoshop today. In the first one, I gave myself a 2hour time limit, and the second a 3hour time limit. Not too bad, it's nice to see myself continually improving over time. More to come.

Hulk

2009-02-22T03:12:00.003-05:00

Haven't scanned my sketches yet, but here's some pics of Hulk I did instead. I also attached the original image I used for reference.

More From My SketchBook

2009-02-18T04:33:00.016-05:00

I have about 20 more pages from my sketchbook I need to scan and upload to my computer, hope to get that done over the weekend, but until then enjoy these sketches!

Soon...

2009-02-13T05:14:00.001-05:00

I will post something substantial soon, very soon.
But not right now, my head hurts...

Final Project Concluded

2009-02-05T10:57:00.004-05:00

Shading and Lighting Final Project: Part 2

2009-01-26T23:31:00.003-05:00

Here's some updates on my final project, I have to turn it in Wednesday, so I still have some time to touch it up and do some tweaking. I still need to add some text to the book, add some shadows for the chairs, vase, and a few others. But for the most part, it's pretty much finished.

More info on the project as a whole, they assign you a scene (just the bare geometry) and tell you to add textures and lighting based on what we've learned in class so far. They also assign you a mood, and the lighting and textures is suppose to complement the mood and setting assigned.

My Mood/Setting was:

Springtime
Sunset
Environment 30 years old
Mood - Tense, 60's, Post JFK assassination, civil rights movement, change and experimentation

Shading and Lighting Final Project

2009-01-26T00:58:00.003-05:00

Been working on my final project for SAL for the last couple of days and I have a couple images to show my progress so far. I have a critique Monday evening, where I'm suppose to be about 70% done, which I think I'm about there, maybe 55-60 something percent. But I have some time after my morning lecture to get some more work done, for now I'm going to sleep.

Day Time Scene for School

2009-01-21T14:29:00.003-05:00

Here's a daytime version of the nighttime scene I posted yesterday. Over the next week and a half, I'll be adding texture and lighting to another scene, this time more in depth. This was like a warm up for this, which will be my final project for Shading and Lighting.

Renders from School Projects

2009-01-20T22:20:00.005-05:00

Here's some renders from my Shading and Lighting class. I didn't model any of the geometry in these scenes, I just textured and added lighting.

Blue Moon: Character Designs "Red"

2009-01-18T19:52:00.006-05:00

Here's a sketch and finished drawing of "Red" a character in "Blue Moon" a webcomic idea that hasn't made it further than the concept stage. Who knows maybe one day lol.

Holy batwing, two posts in one day...

More From My SketchBook

2009-01-18T19:47:00.003-05:00

More sketches I did inbetween classes and on break, I try to keep myself occupied and focused, gotta keep moving forward.

Sketches

2009-01-12T12:44:00.004-05:00

My Cintiq was acting weird for awhile, so I've been drawing in my sketchbook recently. So, for today's post I scanned a couple of my sketches onto my computer, and then played with them a little in photoshop so they weren't so messy. I'm always doing anatomy studies, playing with proportions and such, trying to get more comfortable with drawing the human figure, so it's more natural and I don't have to put so much thought into it. Hope you like, I'm sure they'll be more to come soon.

Juggernaut Sketch

2009-01-04T08:58:00.003-05:00

Here's a quick sketch of Juggernaut. I wanted to try a different approach to getting some deep (but quick) values, using gray tones over my messy line art. I think it turned out alright, still need to adjust some of the proportions a bit.

A Few Sketches to Bring in the New Year

2009-01-01T03:10:00.004-05:00

Concept Art

2008-12-30T19:07:00.003-05:00

Here's some concept art I did for my 3D Foundations class and a couple sketches.

Did You Know

2008-12-29T15:11:00.001-05:00

Found this video today whole surfing the web, interesting stuff.

Jubilee

2008-12-29T07:56:00.005-05:00

Well, immediately after posting my last update, I decided to get a good head start on my next update and after some surfing the web for about three hours I did just that. I started off with the notion of just doing a quick sketch or two of Jubilee, but the first sketch started shaping up so nicely, I decided to ink and color it, hope you like it!

Cyborg Sketches

2008-12-28T18:41:00.004-05:00

Here's a sketch I did today, had some inspiration for something a little different than I usually do. They turned out pretty decent, so I decided to post them, trying to post something everyday, we'll see how that works out, enjoy!

Six Second Animation

2008-12-27T03:25:00.004-05:00

Wow, two posts in one day, watch out! lol No, this is something I wanted to put up here earlier but forgot. This is my six second animation I did for my 3D Foundations class. Superman pulling off a bank vault door.

Work in Progress

2008-12-27T03:16:00.007-05:00

Here's something I've been working on since yesterday, it's going to go up on my old website with a message saying something like "site under construction" and then point them over here. The original idea was to have a bunch of cat lady things working on (tearing apart) my computer, but I decided to go with something simpler. Most of the line work is set in stone, so I just need to go back through and ink it up and through in the colors.

I'm not the best at coloring so it's something I've been trying to force myself to do more often. Which is cool cause I'm starting to develop my own style. More to come. :)

First Post

2008-12-24T11:32:00.010-05:00